AUGUST 20, 1999 VOL 2, ISSUE 47 8 ELUL 5759

The vast majority of laws relating to Jewish marriage and divorce are derived from verses in the Torah portion Seitzei. The relationship between husbands and wives is similar to the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people. It thus follows that marriage and divorce as experienced between mortal spouses derives from the "marriage" and the so-called "divorce" between G-d and the Jewish people.

The marriage of G-d and the Jewish people took place when He gave them the Torah, as the Mishnah states: "'The day of His marriage' - this refers to Mattan Torah." Although according to Jewish law betrothal requires an act by the groom, i.e., the groom gives the bride an object of value and states: "You are consecrated to me...," this act must have the full consent of the bride; a woman cannot be married against her will. The same was true with regard to G-d's betrothal and marriage of the Jewish people when He gave them the Torah: G-d revealed His great love to the Jewish people in order to rouse their love for Him, so that the Jewish people would desire to be "married" to Him. Although this love for G-d resulted from G-d's arousal of the emotion within them, and did not come about of the Jews' own volition, it had so profound an effect on them that their love for Him became part and parcel of their very being.

Thus the Rambam states as a point of law that every Jew, even one who is on an extremely low spiritual level, "desires to perform all the mitzvos and distance himself from transgressions." It is simply that this desire is sometimes concealed and must be brought to the fore. Just as the Jewish people's love for G-d permeates their being, and is always whole and absolute, so too with regard to His love for them: it permeates His entire essence, as it were, and something that is part of one's essence is not subject to change. This blissful state of marriage between G-d and the Jewish people existed until the period of exile, at which time there came about a state of "divorce," as the Gemara records: "The Jewish people responded to the prophet with a telling rejoinder...'A woman who was divorced by her husband - can one party possibly then complain about [the conduct of] the other?' " This means to say that since during times of exile, G-d is not found in a revealed manner among the Jewish people; it is as if He had divorced them.

In truth, however, G-d's love for the Jews is so essential to His being that even when this love is suppressed to the extent that He metaphorically "divorces" them, He is still very much with them; the "divorce" is not really a divorce at all. Truly, it is nothing but a temporary separation, which He will rectify when He once again reveals His essential love for them; remarriage will not be necessary. Accordingly it is to be understood that the "temporary separation" engendered by exile reveals a depth of the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people that is even more profound than that revealed prior to the "divorce."

  "When you will go out to war against your enemies, and G-d, your G-d, will deliver them into your hand." (21:10) QUESTION: Instead of "ki teitzei lamilchamah" - "when you will go out to war" - it should have said "ki tilcham im oyevecha" - "when you will be at war with your enemy"? ANSWER: This parshah is read during the month of Elul, the quintessential time to do teshuvah, and it is not only discussing a physical war but also alluding to man's ongoing spiritual battle. Within man there is a yeitzer tov - good inclination - and a yeitzer hara - evil inclination. Each one fights to take control and dictate man's direction, and it is extremely difficult for man to overcome his powerful yeitzer hara. However, our sages (Shabbat 104a) have declared that "haba letaheir mesa'im oto" - "the one who wants to purify

himself (improve his ways) is assisted from heaven." Likewise the Midrash Rabbah (Song of Songs 5:2) states that Hashem says to the Jewish people, "Make a small opening (of teshuvah) like the opening of a needle, and I will open for you entrances through which caravans can pass." In encouraging man to do teshuvah, the Torah is assuring that "ki teitzei lamilchamah" - if you will merely resolve to go out and wage war "al oyevecha" - "against the enemy" - i.e. the yeitzer hara - you will be victorious because Hashem will give him over into your hand.

Alternatively: the Zohar compares the inner struggle in man during prayer to a time of war. "Your enemy," the yeitzer hara tries in every way to distract the person and disturb his kavanah, and man endeavors very hard to overcome him. Therefore, Torah advises: The ideal solution is "ki teitzei" - to "go out" - i.e. one should leave his home and go to shul to daven with a minyan. There, one will eliminate many distractions one encounters while praying at home, and the battle with the yeitzer hara will be won easily. (From: VeDibarta Bam by Rabbi Moshe Bogomilsky)

"You shall not see your brother's ox or sheep going astray and ignore them; rather, you should restore them to your brother... And so you shall do with every lost thing of your brother - you may not remain oblivious."( 22:1-3) When Rabbi DovBer of Lubavitch was a young man, he lived in the same house as his father, Rabbi Schneur Zalman.  Rabbi DovBer and his family lived in the ground floor apartment, and Rabbi Schneur Zalman lived on the second floor. One night, while Rabbi DovBer was deeply engrossed in his studies, his youngest child fell out of his cradle. Rabbi DovBer heard nothing. But Rabbi Schneur Zalman, who was also immersed in study in his room on the second floor, heard the infant's cries. The Rebbe came downstairs, lifted the infant from the floor, soothed his tears, replaced him in the cradle, and rocked him to sleep. Rabbi DovBer remained oblivious throughout it all. Later, Rabbi Schneur Zalman admonished his son: "No matter how lofty your involvements, you must never fail to hear the cry of a child."

My grandfather said in reference to Hitbon'nut, the profoundly concentrated contemplation on a subject extremely difficult to comprehend: "If the subject is of deep personal concern, the person will come to understand and comprehend it very well.